


Here Comes The...

by Titti



Series: The Crack World [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Response, Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-15
Updated: 2003-07-15
Packaged: 2019-01-16 03:47:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12334890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: Draco wants to get married, but nothing ever goes as he plans.





	Here Comes The...

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Severus Snape Fuh-Q Fest Scenario 12: Cautious Snape sleeps with his wand under his pillow, with unforeseen consequences.

Draco chewed his food slowly as he pondered his situation. He was three months pregnant. He would matriculate from Hogwarts in a month. That horrible, insufferable, pain in the arse, Potter had killed uncle Voldie just a month ago. His father was still in Azkaban, and only a miracle or very expensive bribes would free him.

Draco needed to ensure a safe and posh life for him and his child. He had no plans on becoming part of the working class. Just the idea sent shivers down his back, and not in a pleasant way. No, he had to find another way, a better way.

His eyes fell on the teachers' table and the proverbial light struck. He would simply have to get married. Now, he simply had to convince Severus Snape. He had four weeks to do it. Plenty of time.

* * *

"Can I help you, Mr. Malfoy?" Severus didn't even bother raising his eyes from the cauldron. Only one person had the galls to interrupt him during the weekend.

"Hello, Severus," Draco said smiling.

"I've repeatedly told you that you will continue to call me by my title, at least until you finish school," Severus replied acidly.

Draco wanted to laugh. They fucked like bunnies. He got pregnant, and now he had to act all proper. However, it wouldn't do to upset his would-be husband. "Of course, Professor."

"Are you...are you feeling well?" Draco's heart skipped a beat at Severus' concern. Touching. Perfect. Now, Draco needed to exploit this weakness to reach his goal.

Draco rubbed his stomach, which was barely starting to round. "Yes, thank you. It is...It's getting easier to bear. I seem to be able to keep my food down. Although Madam Pomphrey was worried for a bit," Draco said in the best 'I'm a martyr and will suffer through anything for my child' tone.

"But you're fine now..." Severus was doing his best not too sound like he cared. Merlin forbid, the boy got this idea that he actually had feelings.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come to the next visit. It's next Friday. Madam Pomphrey will cast a spell to show me the baby." Draco looked on with this most innocent stare, eyes wide open, his grey eyes showing the little sparkle. 

_Thank you, Mother, for teaching me all the tricks,_ Draco thought as Severus' expression softened. "I'd like that very much."

Draco nodded. It was time to leave and give Severus time to stew. It wouldn't do to push too quickly.

* * *

The visit with the mediwitch came and went but Draco saw no hair or hide of Severus Snape. This was getting irritating. Why could Severus never follow his carefully laid out plans?

The obvious person to ask was Lucius, but Draco didn't feel up to visiting dear old dad in Azkaban. Draco snorted inwardly as he imagined the discussion with his father.

"Hello, Father, I'm here to get your help in stealing your lover. You see I've decided that now that I convinced him to get me pregnant, I should convince him to marry me."

Lucius' answer would be curt. " _Crucio_ " Even without a wand, Draco was sure that Lucius could cast the unforgivables. 

No, visiting his father was not in his best interest. He would just have to find another way to manipulate...er...make Severus see that a marriage was the best thing for all involved.

* * *

Draco swore for the umptieth time. What was so important in Severus' life that he could never be available after class? For the past two weeks, he had done just about anything possible to corner the Potions master, but Severus always had an excuse why they couldn't meet. How was he supposed to get married, if his husband didn't even want to be in the same room with him?

But Malfoys always got what they wanted. That was the family motto and Draco had adopted it full heartedly. He just needed to be sneakier. He was a Slytherin. Lying and manipulating should be second nature for him. 

Draco decided to follow the Potions master for a few days to determine his new schedule. The young Malfoy really hated Potter. If he hadn't killed the Dark Lord, Draco could have simply asked uncle Voldie to force Severus into a marriage. Alas, that was not possible.

Voldemort's death also meant that Severus was free to go as he pleased, and he seemed to spend as little time as possible in the castle. One would think that Severus didn't like the students. Who was Draco kidding? Severus hated the students. 

However, all of his snooping showed that Severus was in the castle during classes and at night. Draco couldn't very well approach Severus during classes, ergo he would simply have to slip into Severus' bed. A week of sex should be enough to convince any man to marry him. In Draco's modest opinion, he was perfection incarnated.

It was decided. That night, Draco would slowly fuck Severus into a marriage.

* * *

Severus went to bed tired. Between classes and the new potion he was ready to patent, he never had any time for himself. He cursed the ministry again. Who would have thought that the paperwork would be more time consuming than creating the potion?

Severus double-checked that his wand was where it should be: right beneath his pillow. The Dark Lord was dead, but one couldn't tell when the next threat could arise.

Severus finally fell asleep. Since Voldemort's death, he had started to dream again. Until that day, Severus only had nightmares. Now, he dreamt again. Simple, unimportant dreams.

Tonight's dream was different. He was on a beach. Had he ever been on a beach? There were naked men everywhere. Buff, tanned, naked men. In the dream, Severus checked that he wasn't drooling.

"You're new here?" a man asked. "I would remember otherwise," he continued in a very seductive voice.

Salazar, Lucius would have his stones if he knew that Severus was getting a hard on over a Muggle. And there was no way on earth that the man wasn't a Muggle. Severus had never seen a wizard look like _that_.

"Can I suck you?" the man asked as he dropped on his knees.

Severus snorted. What did he expect Severus to say? 'No, thank you, I'd rather stay here and watch'. Out aloud, Severus said, "Of course, you whelp."

The man smiled as he opened Severus' robe. Yes, even in his dreams, even on a beach, Severus only wore black robes. He licked the head of Severus' cock a few time, before swallowing it whole.

Severus leaned against the palm tree. He scowled at the thing. Where had that come from? Well, no worries, it did come handy as the Muggle decided to suck his brain from his cock.

"Why did you stop, you idiot?" Maybe _that_ wasn't the best way to ingratiate a person, but that was Severus' dream and he had no intention of acting nice.

The Muggle smiled that idiot smile again. "I want you to fuck me, Severus."

Sweet Helga and Rowena, Severus had to find a way to keep this one. For now, he was happy to push the Muggle against the tree and slam inside. Thank Heavens, in dreams little things like foreplay and preparation were highly unnecessary because Severus was ready to burst.

The sex was hard and fast. Severus just wanted to get off. He wanted none of that teasing Draco and Lucius seemed to enjoy. No, he wanted to get his rocks off, and he did. The Muggle seemed to be connected to him and came at the same time. 

Severus snorted. As if that _ever_ happened. But now he truly needed to find a way to tie this man to himself. His mind went over the spells he knew, and his knowledge was most extensive.

As he reviewed the best way to ensure that the Muggle would never leave him, something prickled at his subconscious.

* * *

Draco entered the room quietly. He had spent enough time around Severus to learn how to deactivate the wards that assured his lover's privacy. He dropped his clothes as he made his way from the sitting room into the bedroom. No need to waste time.

Draco gently pressed his knee on the bed to join Severus when...

Years of training took over. Severus reached for his wand before opening his eyes. He pointed the wand toward the noise and exclaimed, " _Coniugium sine auspecibus._ "

Draco froze, arms around his stomach as if trying to protect his child. He felt a warm and fuzzy feeling overtake him. Yack, he didn't do warm and fuzzy. "What in bloody hell did you do to me?"

Severus shook his head, trying to wake up fully now that he had determined that there was no threat, at least not one to his physical being. Draco was of course, a continuous threat to his mental state.

"I..." Severus cleared his sleepy voice. "I don't remember. _Priori Incantatem_ " Severus blanched as he heard his words repeated to him. "I..."

"You didn't hurt the baby, did you?" Severus' head snapped up. Was Draco truly capably of loving their child?

"No, no, the baby is fine. I believe I married us." Severus cringed, waiting for the tirade it was sure to come.

"You married us?" Draco looked at his lover suspiciously. "Don't we need witnesses?"

Severus shook his head, embarrassed. How was he going to explain this to Draco? To Albus? Even worse, to Lucius? " _Sine Auspecibus_ literally means without witnesses. It's an old spell and it binds the people involved."

Draco sighed as he sat on the bed.

"Aren't you upset?" Salazar, Lucius would be furious, but now Draco's reaction was more important. Severus didn't want to anger the person carrying his child.

Draco settled along side Severus. "Well, I wanted the big wedding, with lots of guests and even more presents. However, I believe that a big ring could improve my mood." Draco snuggled close to his lover. "I guess I don't have to sleep in the dormitory now that we're married."

Still under shock, Severus pulled the covers around them and held his 'husband' close. He missed the smug smile on Draco's face. Now that they were married, Draco would have to convince Severus about having a big party to celebrate.

But that's another story.


End file.
